Getting the opposite s*x with the right choice of words is a mysterious form of art that requires strategic planning and execution.
Despite this, a lot of us know that using ridiculous pick-up lines are not the way to go. There are lines we’ve heard our friends use and laughed out loud at how cheesy they were.
The general rule with pick-up lines is for them to break or thaw the ice leading to the person they are directed at to smile.
It also should usually prompt a conversation and if you’re lucky enough, lead to something more special. There are quite a number of terrible pick-up lines but we took the time to draw out a list of the ones you should never try.
1. “You remind me of a bottle of Heineken because you’re made from the finest barley on earth”
Wow. Why would you compare her with a bottle of beer? This Pickup line is plain ridiculous and speaks volumes about your personality. She’d probably be thinking you’re an alcoholic.
2. “I lost my v!rginity sometime back…can I have yours?”
Very outrageous! How can making reference to a woman’s v!rginity be the very first thing you say to her? You’d likely never see her again after saying this.
3. “Oh you like Wizkid? I’m his manager.”
Trying to get her interest by linking yourself with a music star is one line that’s pretty ridiculous. It could get you her attention initially but she’s bound to find out on the long run which will call you out for the liar you are.
4. “You busy? You wanna get busy?”
This Pickup line is very suggestive and she’d hate you for the brutal and raw honesty which simply portrays you as a pervert.
5. “Is your father a thief? No? Then who stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes?”
This is all shades wrong! How can you even consider suggesting her father is a thief? The follow up comment about the stars being in her eyes will not be sufficient to rescue you from the anger she’d unleash on you.
6. “Hey baby. Sit on my face and I’d guess your weight.”
Quite vulgar and despicable. She’d feel disgusted more because you’re making reference to her weight as a means of striking a conversation with her.
7. “I’m a little lost. Do you happen to have directions to your heart?”
Quite funny if you put the first part of the statement into consideration. Chances are she’d smile at you if and only if you stick to the first part.
Asking for directions to her heart with your next words is not only plain ridiculous for someone you’re meeting for the first time, but is also quite silly.
8. “Did my brain just put its d*ck in your mouth because you just blew my mind!”
This is stupid to say the least. It puts the woman in a very uncomfortable position because of the vulgarity of the statement. You most likely will get a slap for out rightly telling someone you’ve never met these words.
9. “I wish I were you so I could make love to me.”
Using this pickup line only confirms to her that you’re someone that’s cocky, full of himself and thrives in braggadacio.
10. “Calm down, I’m not trying to hit on you. I’m trying to f*ck you.”
Okay, you have to be a class A asshole to say this. This line should be condemned to the annals of history.
11. “You must have hurt your back when you fell from heaven.”
Using this line especially when she’s clutching her back or waist from sitting too long will only get you a long hiss.
12. “I’ve added a bit of weight but there’s still some pleasure to be had from my body.”
This one is sexually suggestive and she may not be in the mood for any kinky thing you have in mind.
13. “You’re so hot! We should totally have s*x.”
Another seemingly absurd pick-up line. Sex being among the first words you’d say to her describes the kind of person you are to her.
14. You look familiar; have we met before?
I saved this for last because it is the most overused. It is a Nigerian pickup line. Lol! Girls can never take guys that use it seriously. If you’re one of them, please stop.
Alright folks. If you’ve ever used some of these lines, refrain from using them again simply because they could make a woman puke.
It’s best you stick to being yourself when you want to hit on someone. Have you ever used or heard any other ridiculous pick-up line?
15 “Are you religious? Because seeing you is a come to Jesus moment!”
This line doesn’t cut it as you have no idea how much the person you’re talking to appreciates religion. They will likely find it downright offensive.